Episode 65

The One About Choosing Not to Have Kids

Published on: 28th February, 2019

Meet Diane Mayor

Diane spent over a decade in a corporate career in a fast-paced investment bank working behind the scenes in finance on planning, forecasting, projects, new product approvals and operations.

She finally left because it felt like she wasn’t making enough of a difference in the world and instead took all that experience and distilled it into real business essentials for small businesses making a big impact.

She is passionate about travel, conferences, coffee, Bravo, Converse and spreadsheets.

Find out more about her over on her website http://www.dianemayor.com or on Instagram @Diane_Mayor

Fav quotes from this episode:

“I confuse people because I don’t want children.”

“People assume that I am desperate to have children and am either too old, too single, too something else to have them…”

“For me my core value is freedom. I don’t want to be committed to a particular place because somebody else needs to go to school.”

“I love my friends’ kids, I also love giving them back when they are over tired, when they are crying, when they need a nappy change…”

“I respect the fact that you’ve chosen to have children, I respect the fact that you’ve chosen to put that above how our friendship used to work. I respect the fact that you no longer want the career that we both planned because you have children…how can it not come back?”

In this episode we talk about:

  • What it takes to ‘qualify’ as an adult. Is it your job? Having kids? We discuss!
  • How not having kids can be a choice, not just a circumstance, despite what many people assume.
  • How choosing not to have kids often puts you under scrutiny, and is commonly met with judgement and misunderstanding.
  • The interesting dynamics that can occur in our friendships and relationships when kids come into the picture.
  • How the needs of child-free people can often end up coming after the needs of those with children, and how to navigate that with grace and understanding. 
  • The importance of keeping the dialogue open and continuing to listen, learn, respect each other’s choices.

 

Plus, we talk about…The fact that having or not having children is an intensely personal journey that will be different for absolutely everyone. There is no right or wrong way.


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About the Podcast

Adulting with Ebonie
Your weekly dose of introspection and contemplation on what it means and takes to be a conscious, creative adult with a misfit mind.
Adulting with Ebonie is the weekly podcast that brings together Neurodiversity, Human Design and Embodiment so that Gen X or Millennial Misfits (and late-diagnosed Neurospices) become empowered, embodied and fully expressed. Where I actively encourage you to feel your feelings rather than think them, glow up not grow up and become full of yourself, because who the f*ck else should you be full of? Each week I have real and raw conversations about what it takes to be fully resourced and have happy healthy intimate relationships as a dopamine-deficient adult wanting to create a better future by being the change you want to see in the world.
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About your host

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Ebonie Allard

Ebonie (Alchemy) Allard is a Modern Mystic, a Misfit turned Maven, an Award winning International Master Coach, Certified in Human Design and mBit (Multiple Brain Integration Technique) an Author, Artist and Speaker.

Professionally: She’s the creator of The Misfit to Maven Way, The Value Filter™ system and ‘The AWE (Adulting with Ebonie) Podcast.’

Using a wide range of both ancient and modern medicine she facilitates Self Actualisation in self-selected weirdos and neurodivergent beings.

Her work is specifically focused on empowerment, embodiment & full self-expression.

She shares her wisdom in online courses, intimate retreats and bespoke 1:1 experiences.

Personally: She's a pussycat slash mermaid - when she’s not working you’ll find her splashing about in the sea, curled up in a sunny spot or off chasing a rainbow.