The One About Codependent Behaviour

Meet Jo Westwood.

Jo is a life coach and author, known for her fun, real, no BS approach to helping you improve your life. She specialises in helping women escape from codependency, reclaim their lives with confidence and live Lovingly Fierce.

Her online codependence recovery course is available now at jowestwood.com <http://jowestwood.com>

Fav quotes from this episode:

“Adulting means knowing who I am, and that’s not a static thing”

“The only time you are done as a human being is when you are dead”

“Human nature is so fascinating - we’re so weird!”

“Figuring out that I was co-dependent and going on my recovery journey was simultaneously one of the most painful experiences but categorically the best experience of my life because it brought me to who I really am - where I could peel away the mask”

“We’re seeing so much of the narcissistic/abusive vs. codependent/empathic dynamic being played out on the world stage in such a huge way at the moment”

“I’ve never heard the word ‘gaslighting’ so much since 2016”

“I can’t change anyone else’s behaviour, but I can change the dynamic between us by changing me behaviour”

“I used to see people who were in healthy relationships and I used to think it was fake!”

“We’re not meant to do this alone. We’re meant to connect with people in a healthy way”

“There’s nothing more gorgeous than being in a relationship with someone who really wants you”

“It’s fucking terrifying to let go of needing and being needed”

“I’m an adult but… I’ve just been to the Coop and bought some creme egg ice cream”

In this episode we talk about:

• The importance of constantly growing, learning and developing to finding who you really are.
• Why we’re terrified of saying what we really want and need.
• The difference between misfits, rebels and mavericks
• How it’s human nature to want to ‘fit in’, and how this affects our relationships
• ‘Mend and Attend’ - a mechanism for self-protection like our ‘Fight or Flight’ response.
• Why if you are an adult who can take care of yourself and can put a roof over your head and have experienced an abusive relationship, you have played into that dynamic in some way, and why it’s important to take ownership of that.

Plus, we chat about the importance of having a toolbox of coping mechanisms (however simple or childish!) that helps you step away from patterns of behaviour that contribute to a negative dynamic in our relationships.

References:

Attached - by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller