The one about ADHD, Chinese Medicine + Menopause with Carolyn Sykes

00:03

Hey, hello.

Ebonie Allard: 00:04

I'm so excited to have this conversation. I have been talking to people about this conversation and being like, I'm only having her on because I want to ask her the questions for myself. Brilliant. So, um, first of all, we've known each other for a really long time, we haven't seen each other in pages. And so much has changed. In that time. It's almost like, you know, we moved from one section of our lives, I suppose into another and it has last time I saw you was pre baby

00:39

pre mother. Yeah, in the maiden phase? Yeah,

Ebonie Allard: 00:43

sure. And I definitely feel like back then. Even though I haven't birthed children, I have moved, like I was in my kind of mother phase in my business at that point. And I was really, that's how it felt. And I feel like I'm moving. I felt like a lot of my business babies, if you like, or the way that I work with my clients, is really shifting into this, watching them be adults and supporting them, rather than mothering them and really allowing them a greater level of authority. And a lot of my journey, since we last saw each other has been about knocking myself off of a pedestal, and becoming aware of the places where I was being a saviour in human design language, being a five and really rescuing people in creating spaces where I was needed. Yeah,

01:37

yeah.

Carolyn Sykes: 01:41

I think I've kind of gone through a bit of a journey of that as well with my acupuncture patients, and really kind of moving more towards empowering the patients, because ultimately, they're their own healers. But you know, it's gone from them needing me, to me empowering them.

Ebonie Allard: 02:00

What do you think? Or have you seen any change then, with your own element? Like, I, for me, I feel like, when I go and work with acupuncture or five elements, or have any of this work done, what I needed, then what comes up now has really, really shifted and changed, and I don't know, whether that's life age, the world? Have you noticed any shift for yourself and kind of what support you need mentally? Um,

Carolyn Sykes: 02:40

no, but I've noticed the shift in me through having the treatment, if that makes sense. And it's like, it's an ever deepening thing. Like, there is no end to it. So I know that I'm a fire. Yeah, it's like, you know, going for acupuncture, initially, finding out your element, getting some treatment on your element, you start to feel more like you, and more imbalanced, but it doesn't stop there. Okay, you know, and it's like this ever deepening relationship with yourself. But you know, you know more about yourself. So you're having more of a conscious relationship with yourself. Does that make sense?

Ebonie Allard: 03:15

It does, and I love it for me over the years, I've worked with many different acupuncturists, and the elements over the years. I actually haven't found anyone here. And so it's still something I do when I go back to England. And part of that is the language of like, wanting to be really specific about the things Yeah. In my body and not having that capacity here. Whereas interestingly, with other sorts of bodywork, I feel like I don't need language. But if you're gonna stick needles in me, yeah.

Carolyn Sykes: 03:49

Let's make sure we're on the same page.

Ebonie Allard: 03:52

And I think it's the surprise element. Right? Not that I don't trust them, because I don't think they need language. I think they can listen to me.

Carolyn Sykes: 04:01

Yeah. So like if the more five element they are, the more they've kind of, because this is what I've noticed with myself as a practitioner is developing this skill. Yeah, you know, it's almost like when I first qualified, I was trying too hard to see everyone's element. And I couldn't see the wood for the trees. So I stopped trying to see it. And I just treated them as if I was just doing TCM, and I just treated their symptoms and listened to what they were saying. But over time, the elements started becoming more and more evident to me, because it's an energetic thing. So you develop your skill of colour. So you see colour, but it's more like like, for example, once there was this lady, so when COVID was happening, and you had the rules and everything, we had to make the patient's wait in their car, and then we'd go get them for their appointment rather than everyone congregated in the reception area. So I went to get this lady one day, and she was standing next to a car. I'd never met her before, but I saw this flash of green go across her face And it was like, oh, wood. And that was my instant first impression. So we have colour, we have the sound. So the sound of your voice. Even if you're speaking a different language, there's definitely like a tone. Like I find your voice very singing. Yeah, it's a singing tone, and the emotion. So it's like how we feel when we're around you. Yeah. And then the most subtle of all is the older. And the old is the hardest one to find now, because everyone wears like chemicals and perfume, and, you know, the clothing, detergents and things which all mask the smell. But the more advanced you become, the more you can, it's like, it's like that first flash of green, it's like a whiff. You just get a whiff. And then you got it.

Ebonie Allard: 05:44

What you smell is my, my sense and human design. And it's such a good indicator for me. And one of the things I've really used consciously, I had I put this, I became aware that one of the ways that I was dopamine seeking was through food. And so I've consciously worked with, Okay, well, what are some other ways that I could support that need? And one of the ways is incense. And so last Christmas, my family asked me, What do you want? We do like one present each. And yeah, we used

06:24

to do that. No, we stopped this year, nobody would allow me to do it this year, but I thought it worked really well. It's really great.

Ebonie Allard: 06:31

I asked for a year's supply of incense, and got really good quality incense off, and so many different scents and flavours and like things I really love. And so because I had this kind of plethora, and never felt like, Oh, I've got to be really stingey with it. And so sometimes two or three times a day, or put on something and like clear the space of change it. Yeah, you really, really impacted my relationship with my sense of smell. Yeah, when I can't smell everything, then I know that I need to spend some more time alone, and nobody else and to full of my clients everything. And I have days where I can smell everything. Hormone days, where I'm like, Why does everything smell of bins and sweat?

Carolyn Sykes: 07:19

I also Yeah, it can be a curse as well as a blessing.

Ebonie Allard: 07:24

For me, I've really come to see the pattern that those days or the hormonal shifts in my cycle that I Yeah, yeah, like, I can really can pinpoint exactly where I am in my cycle by the days where everything smells amazing.

Carolyn Sykes: 07:38

So just out of interest, what days of the cycle is it that you get heightened smell.

Ebonie Allard: 07:44

So like 19. So as my progesterone starts to drop as I moved, which is the hardest part for me, and actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about and being supported. So a lot of my listeners are neurodiverse in some way. And for me late diagnosed, I had absolutely no idea what was the thing also had absolutely no idea that PMDD was a thing. And it is something I have experienced for 30 years of my life. And two years of my life. I just knew there were two days a month where I have to sit on my hands as I put it and not believe them. They were not believed my brain not believe the thoughts like really like not cut all my hair off, like two days. And they used to be. And they still are roughly 20 to 23 most often 22 and 20 or 24. So like that little bit where and I used to describe it to an ex boyfriend. Because I need a lot of reassurance in those two days that I explained it that it's like, he's like, nothing's changed overnight. And like No, everything's changed overnight. Like my entire body is not the same as it was the day before. Like some it's like, someone changes my orientation overnight. And I've got no idea which way is up. And I don't know that I can believe anything. And I knock into walls and nothing's just like, time and space aren't what they were the day before. And I've come to understand that it's two days a month. shift back into normality, I suppose. Yeah, that I'm really interested in to see if you've got any insight into PMDD. And then the other thing is at the age of 43. And I had terrible, terrible, really intense, long, heavy periods as a young woman, my family, I spent most of my late 20s, early 30s really working with my body with my womb with the elements with my cycle and have been fortunate to have a very rare Killer cycle since that work, yeah. And very, very consistent. I now have a 28 to 29 day cycle, we may say, only two days every two days, not every single month. And in the last six months, it's moving to a 2728. And I am in complete denial. Yeah, we might be heading towards things changing. And so I wanted that as well. Okay.

10:28

Wow, that's a lot. So what do you want to do first?

Ebonie Allard: 10:34

Yeah, those who have no idea what I'm talking about, but who have recognised perhaps the symptoms I just described of feeling very wobbly. For me, it also led to suicidal ideation not wanting to be alive, finding what I see in the mirror, completely distorted, I wouldn't do that I'd put on a massive amount of weight overnight, the kind that isn't possible. And so that's why I say sit on my hands, because I'd be like, logically, I know, it can't have changed that much. Yeah. Yeah. How common is it? Have you heard it before? Do you know of any links to neurodiverse? And that kind of thing?

Carolyn Sykes: 11:14

Okay, so I'm starting to hear of it more and more. And in Chinese medicine, we don't see it the same way. You know, this, we don't see it the same way as the West. And so we don't even really talk about hormones that much. Everything's about patterns. And everything's about being in alignment with seasons, and you know, the elements and everything like that. But as you were talking there, and you were describing those days in your cycle, what I was getting was like a visual. Okay, so because we don't really talk too much about hormones, doesn't mean they're not involved. But we think more of yin and yang. Yeah, so like the oestrogen is the Yin, and the progesterone is more Yang. And when we look at the 28 day cycle, we have this graph. And it's basically like the oestrogen going up and then peaking in the middle and then coming back down. And then it's like it goes upside down on top of each other. So you've got one going up, and the other coming down. So what I think is happening is when you get those two days, is where those two lines across in. Yes, that's the bit where you don't know which way is up and which way is down. Yeah.

Ebonie Allard: 12:16

Isn't it? absolute sense? Yeah.

Carolyn Sykes: 12:19

So I think because you're so aware, and you're so in tune with yourself, you already know what you need to do. And it's like, on those days, you just need to almost like shut the world out and just go within, and to just feel and heal, and give yourself the self care that you know, that you need. And then you know, I talk about it a lot with manifesting as well. You know, it's not, that's not the time to be thinking about your goals, is it?

Ebonie Allard: 12:44

It's really interesting, because the visual that I got, as I'm talking to you about it, because we're talking elements, which is fascinating. It's like, I know, it's my Autumn, but you know, those days in autumn, where it's freakishly Sunny. And then there's like a downpour. And it's windy. Yeah, you've got both. And it's happening all at once, right? And you're like, if you go out, you have to wear layers and like you put it on, and then you take it off, and you put it on. And it's just it's a lot of effort to be out in that for me. Exactly. So I'm wait for it to pass. Yeah,

Carolyn Sykes: 13:17

exactly. And that's what I would call being more yen. Yeah. So I have this whole kind of concept, which I call be more Yin. And it's like, I know, not everyone understands what that means. But for me, I can't say any different because there's the B in part, which is the B and rather than doing and then be more yin. And so the Yin is all about that going within and being still and you know, just kind of like moving towards whatever it is we're experiencing. We're moving towards it and embracing it. Rather than trying to like push through it and past it and beyond it.

Ebonie Allard: 13:53

And I'm impressed. Sure that Yin space is listening, right? Yes, difference between. I'm gonna go out in the rain. I'm gonna go out in that weather and try and get somewhere where you're gonna sing it. Right. Yeah. And just going out in it and watching and listening. Because if your commitment, like for me, I'm imagining being a kid, and I go out in that weather and I'm just like, like, I could just do more of it. Yeah, orientation makes such a difference to how we experience it.

Carolyn Sykes: 14:26

Yeah, definitely. And it's like, all of this applies to all kinds of times of the month as well to all like people of all ages and everything because it's like, what I would say is like pushing through it and not acknowledging the beauty of it is the masculine energy more, and then being in that like, just being present being in more of a childlike or, and just going with it rather than fighting against it to me that's more feminine. And again, it's being more Yin. So it's just kind of like receiving the moment as it is.

Ebonie Allard: 14:59

Oh, I'm really curious then because you said earlier, sound, smell? And then element is the element as part of that. Is that how you find the element?

Carolyn Sykes: 15:13

Yeah, those are the skills that we developed to help us diagnose the element. So you've got killer sound, emotion and odour.

Ebonie Allard: 15:22

Sound, emotion and odour. Okay? And if you then work with that, I have an idea in my head of what? Yeah, and I just if one if a person discovers that about themselves, does that, or does that change over life?

15:42

Yeah, it stays. Okay.

Ebonie Allard: 15:44

So you can heal

Carolyn Sykes: 15:45

you can become so you can be really out of balance. So going back to the question, you asked me earlier about the changes, I've noticed in myself, when I look back at my younger self, I was very out of balance fire. Whereas now I'm a much more balanced fire. So there's this like unhealed version of it. And then a more healed version of it, where you get to get like, experience more of the superpowers of that element. But then also, if you go through any stress, trauma, extreme tiredness, whatever, the first thing it’s going to hit is that element. And so that's how I know I need more treatment or more self care is if that element starts to get a bit out of balance again.

Ebonie Allard: 16:27

So to help me with specifics, I believe I'm also a fire, what would you do?

Carolyn Sykes: 16:35

Well, I would have to spend a bit more time with you and ask you the relevant questions and things from knowing you. Yeah, definitely. You've got fire. We're all all of them. Yes, as well. But I would I was kind of feeling more Earth.

Ebonie Allard: 16:49

That's really interesting. That's my voice, right? And the smell that's own, which you can't do right here. That's yeah. Good to me. Um, okay. So this is fascinating to me, because one of the reasons why I now spend a lot more time in Spain is because what doesn't work for me is the damp. Yes. And as a earthy fire, that sense? So yeah, whenever I go for acupuncture, I get a lot of forgotten the word for it. But when you light on lockset marks, there's so much and I need like I could I could just be like, just give me more. Yeah. And so, but then when people are like, well, you're so far away already. Why would you need more like from an Ayurvedic perspective, or a balancing perspective or more heat? And actually hearing you say the other thing that makes much more sense for me? Yeah, why, where that might be and why. This

Carolyn Sykes: 17:49

is why I love the five elements so much. For me, it's the best system I've ever found. Because you can have a lot of fire, but you're it's all about the organs. So if your spleen is cold and damp, and you've got a bit of kidney Yang deficiency, you could still have a lot of fire in your heart. But those other organs need the wards, which is why you could still take more.

Ebonie Allard: 18:09

Yeah, I know, this makes real sense. And so if, because we are all of them, as you're saying, and what I love for folks who are on your adventure in some way, very often we experienced synesthesia, and we have a different relationship or and a different way of intercepting than allistic or neurotypical people. And so being able to have these conversations around colour and sound and element and emotion makes it an entirely different experience. Yeah, I want to talk about their health, but who have white coat syndrome, which is what I do, as soon as I go into a doctor, or someone within the in the Western medical profession, I shut down, my blood pressure goes up. But if we're having conversation about colour and sound, and

Carolyn Sykes: 19:00

yeah, put it in a completely different context. I think there's an element of intuition in that. You know, I mean, you got to trust your practitioner. And depending on the modality they’re practising, there might not be enough knowledge or compassion there for what you need.

Ebonie Allard: 19:19

Yeah, I think it's one of the ways that I learned to interoceptive more and to have a deeper body awareness understanding of the patterns and what was going on, was by going I actually used to go to a acupuncture school and be students because I like hearing the conversation as well. Yeah. The teachers so fascinating, like I love it in that way. It was really fun for me because I love to learn. But it also the questions they were asking then helped demystify it all for me and like allowed me to drop further into my body. And one of the comments that you just reminded me when you said it earlier was that my Top of my bottom, like there's almost a line had like this corset line under the bottom of my ribs along where the top was almost too hot. And the bottom was too cold. Yeah. And they and so much of the work that we would do, and the healing that they would help me with is like smudging that line and getting them there stopping them from being such a divide. Yeah,

Carolyn Sykes: 20:24

exactly. And you know, like, because the bottom half and that is where you know, like the kidneys are lower down. And the spleen is obviously the heart is above. And so a lot of people can find themselves feeling quite ungrounded in life because all their energies kind of appear. And that can be caused by heat in the heart. And that can just be caused by, you know, too much thinking and busy modern living. So we really want to ground but then it's like those organs underneath that are cold, we're giving them the boxer. And then you might worry about the fire that you've already gotten is that getting too much heat, but the yin and the yang transform into each other as well. So at its zenith, Yang will be coming in again, and yin will become Yang so you can't overdo it. If you know what you're doing. I don't think you can overdo it. Okay,

21:14

I love that.

Ebonie Allard: 21:16

And so then from your perspective, as one moves through the cycles of life, and these physical changes moving into the second, yeah. Is it just a case of in fact, I would say from this conversation, it's very interesting for me, because I'm like, why am I anxious about this? Like, why am I pre empting? This next phase of my life with a level of anxiety that I've never really experienced before? Are you shifting or changing? But I actually think it's just that there is a becoming comfortable. Yeah, in this, like, I know where I'm at. I know my cycle. I know the pattern. There's this. There's I think the anticipation or the worry, is that is just the part of me that doesn't really like change.

Carolyn Sykes: 22:10

Yeah. Again, there's two sides to this, well, there's probably more but the two sides I'm thinking of number one is like, you know, the programming, media, the negative expectations, so many women are coming to me scared of going into menopause because of what they're hearing in the media. And I understand that that is some people's reality. But that's only through a lack of awareness and knowledge of what's really going on. Yeah, but on the other hand, for me, I see the whole process is deeply spiritual. And that ultimately, the spiritual path is a continual letting go of what we know, a continual opening towards mystery. And so that's what this is like. The menopause is the final gateway before death. And death is the ultimate letting go where we go, we let go completely into the mystery. And so menopause is your practice period for that.

Ebonie Allard: 23:00

I think what it is, then I can this is really helpful just to have this conversation is that so I have this as a Sagittarius moon, who may or may not have commitment issues that she's looking at. I very often have this conversation with myself where I'm like, this is and going through my Uranus half return, right, like I'm at my midlife, right, like what this is mid the middle of life. So the idea that menopause, or menopause is the slide towards death feels like? No, there's still so much more to go. Again, the media has done this number on us of like women becoming visible at 50. There's nothing more exciting, you're gonna have no juice left, like all of that, which I really love to change. I've really love to model and to lift up these conversations where you need to have a whole other half a life that's even more brilliant than the first.

Carolyn Sykes: 24:02

Yeah, it should be. That's how it is this per second spring. So in the east, it's the Wiser women that are respected, they're revered. They've got real life experience. They've got real gifts and gems to share. And I heard some way I don't know how true it is. But I heard somewhere that in the east, their birthdays aren't celebrated until their 60s. Wow. And so this this kind of idea is very western that you know that we're losing it as we age when actually we're gaining it. And it's like, you know, when we think about the maiden, the mother, I don't like the word Crone. I like to say maiden mother, wise woman. Actually, I wouldn't want to be the maiden again. Why do we worship the maid and she doesn't know what she's doing. She's suffers, you know? Yes, she's got youth and beauty, but there's a real beauty that comes you know from behind the eyes. As the soul wisdom comes through.

Ebonie Allard: 25:01

Isn't that 100% And I also, there's this in advertising in confectionery and all of these different places, they have the bliss point. And when I'm working with people around attraction, and what makes people really attractive, is plis pointing, right? It's like, having a complex personality. And I think so many women are taught to that you need to be one thing, like, you know, what are you in need to pick a thing and lead with that. And the truth is, and so much of our work is around helping women to reclaim their range, and to not have their ranges too much or dangerous or unwieldy, or any of that. And the thing is that with age, we grow into our range. And we Yeah, and I think that is, like, that's something I'm excited about, about not needing to prove anything, or rush or any of that, just be in that cup. Yeah.

Carolyn Sykes: 26:05

And to completely stay in your own lane, you know, and that we all have all the seasons at different times. So even though it's winter, now, I always love the winter. The winter, to me is like my internal summer. I just love it. I thrive in January, January is always my best month of the year. And I just feel so I don't know, I can't put my finger on it. But except to say it's my summer. You know? So yeah, there was one other thing I wanted to say about that. It's gone, it'll come back.

Ebonie Allard: 26:42

So when people come to work with you, around this stuff? You said earlier, it's not like people might come to you around hormones, and you're not necessarily working with the hormones in that way? Yeah. Is there something that people should be aware of or be looking for before they come and see you, and if people have never done anything like this before, but are listening and like, this sounds like a really interesting way to heal, to make reconnect with my body to find that thing? But I'm a bit scared. Yeah, that's the bit that I want to get over. It's like, I know, my people, I know that they're going to be going, well, what can I be prepared with? What can I look at first? And then also, what should they expect from working either with you, or with a practitioner in this way around, I guess hormonal stuff, or that this shift in life?

Carolyn Sykes: 27:42

Yeah, so like, we don't see it, technically through the lens of hormones. But that doesn't mean that you don't have to. So we can speak. Like, you can speak one language, we can speak another and we can meet in the middle. But I think I don't know that there's anything you do to prepare. So a lot of people come, for example, because I do a lot of work online, because, you know, what I do is more than just acupuncture. But a lot of people, for example, will come for acupuncture, they're scared of needles. So first and foremost, it's a lengthy consultation, you know, you can just settle in, get comfortable in the conversation, like we're having now. Things start to shift through the conversation itself. Yeah. What most people tell me is they've never felt so heard, never felt so listened to never felt so inspired. And you know, it is like it says, in A Course in Miracles, a miracle is a shift in perception. So they're already shifting their perception in the consultation. And then if they're really scared of needles, I'll just pick a point where there isn't any acupuncture points, like the top of the knee, for example, where it's quite flashy. And I'll just put a needle in there first, just to show it doesn't hurt. And that's that bit out the window for you're gone. And then you know, and then they love the most amazing experience through the treatment itself. But then if they're working with me online, it's there's kind of three elements to it. So I see it like a pyramid. And you've got acupuncture or Chinese medicine. And then you've got the meditation, which is the being more yen. And then you've got this transformational element, which transforms you and takes you through your second spring. And that's more like coaching, but it's all about feminine energetics, and feminine power and strengthening boundaries, and, you know, and miraculous perception and all of this. And so this is not like, oh, we do this in this month in that in that month, in that in that month, it's all kind of blended in, it's all completely led by the client, you know, so you'll never get what you're not ready for. Okay, that makes sense.

Ebonie Allard: 29:40

No, it totally does. And, and so you said earlier and you've said a couple of times TCM so I just want people who were like me and who I can't listen to anymore because they're like, what is TCM?

Carolyn Sykes: 29:55

I'm gonna give you a really good hack now as well. All right. So TCM is tricky. shouldn't be Chinese medicine. So if you went to a hospital in China, that's what you'd get. And so it's similar to Western medicine in that sense, but it's not because it's more holistic and looks at it differently. But it's that medical kind of, you come with a headache, we fix your headache type of thing. And then the five elements side is more emotional and spiritual. And even like psychiatry, almost like people say, I feel like I'm in therapy. You know, it's emotional, psychological and spiritual. And it's much more on that energetic side. And I do both. Okay. But if somebody's thinking, I might want to, you know, try this particular modality, they could go on Google, say they are experiencing migraines, and you type into Google migraines, and then you put TCM, at the end, what you're gonna get then is all the Chinese medicine sites coming up explaining what headaches are, from our perspective, if you just go on Google and type in migraines, you'll get all the Western ones. Yeah, isn't it a lot of TCM will give you more information before you go and see a practitioner, which could be the thing you could do to prepare before you go to see your practitioner. Fantastic.

Ebonie Allard: 31:11

I love that, because I know that people listening to this are gonna really like being able to have a little insight on taking away their kind of what's going to happen. That yes, yeah. Yeah. And I think that the five elements, and the Chinese medicine way of looking at things is actually a really neurodiverse way of understanding because everything's linked to everything else. The western hierarchical system, or really honed into, Oh, you've got a headache, we'll just look at your head then. Rather

31:50

than Yeah, exactly. You've got this whole

Ebonie Allard: 31:53

rest of the body to your head. Yeah, my favourite thing is actually about the journey with acupuncture and Chinese medicine, or five elements is that is, is going to see somebody and having a particular pain here, and having the conversation and then them helping me to understand. That's because I'm using this part of my body way more or standing funny, or like, it's, it comes from something else. It's not for such a long time, I was like, there must be something wrong there because that's wrong. But it's referred. Yeah, something else. And I think that, for me, is such a really helpful way of using this modality to see yourself as a whole and to recognise the patterns and to and to see how, what the causality is, right? Like, how Yeah, one thing affects another thing.

Carolyn Sykes: 32:55

So let's use headaches as an example for this. Okay? So oftentimes, more often than not, headaches are linked to the liver, or liver, gallbladder, okay, wood element, not always, but mostly. And I'll give you an example of a patient I had recently. So she came in to see me with pain under a right ribs, which was liver area, vision problems and migraines. And I treated her for three, three sessions and the pains gone away, the eyes have improved and normal headaches. And all I've done is put needles in her feet, feet and knees. So she's come in thinking she's gonna have needles there. And that I'm touched that and the pain is gone, the vision has improved. And it's like how can sticking a needle in my knee, make my eyes better? Because that's the liver channel and the liver opens into the ice. You know?

Ebonie Allard: 33:46

I love it. I could talk to you all day. I'm not going to wrap it up. move you towards the patron part where this season we are doing something different and I'm gonna ask you 15 quickfire questions? Okay, really personal.

Carolyn Sykes: 34:05

I hate small talk, I like to get deep with people straight away.

Ebonie Allard: 34:08

This is why I love you. For I will put everything into the show notes. But for those who are whose curiosity is piqued now and who may be able to come see you in person and work with some needles or who may want to come and work with you online. Where is the best place for them to come and find you and to find out more?

34:27

My website WWW dot raise your gaze dot coach.

Ebonie Allard: 34:33

Oh, I love that. I will as I say make sure that I have popped that in for you. And

34:39

also social media. I'm just go by my name Carolyn Ann Sykes. Okay,

Ebonie Allard: 34:43

fantastic. Again, I make it really easy. stick all the links in anything else that you want to add or that you want to say before we wrap up and disappear.

34:54

Oh, are we not doing the 15 questions you will I'm going to bog this one. Yeah, yeah. And the other one, I just want to go back to the PMDD thing as well, because I kind of feel like we skimmed over that, where I said, I'm seeing more of it now. And so I really want to say to anyone who's experienced in that, it to not be afraid, and that there is a solution. And it really ultimately comes back to this being more Yin. Because if we think about it, we've got yin and yang, okay, these two aspects of life, and they show up in everything in night and day in winter and summer cold and, and hot, you know, it's everywhere. And so when we're just on all the time, thinking doing work in, you know, that's to Yang, even though we sleep at night, we're completely unconscious when we're asleep. So you can kind of like discount that, how much time in your day do you spend being aware of stillness, and just being in that kind of opposite mode, which is required for balance. And ultimately, if we can bring more of the Yin back, it will create more balance naturally, and lots and lots of ailments will naturally heal? And so, yeah, that's just what I wanted to offer there. Because I think the reason we're seeing more and more of it, is because of the heightened stress of modern living. And you know, social media plays a big part in that and everything. And it just adds to this. It's almost like your brain becomes like a motorway, doesn't it? Yeah, I

Ebonie Allard: 36:27

completely agree. And I think it's really linked to disconnect from circadian rhythm. Yeah, the seasonal rate, you know, all of those rhythms. Yeah. Particularly in Human Design speak. In my world, I've got a lot of people who are undefined in the route. And so they experience this pressure. Yeah, keep moving all of the time. And they find it very difficult to

36:54

rest. Yeah, that's it, or to

Ebonie Allard: 36:57

move with them, they don't necessarily have a consistent sense of their own rhythm, and therefore need to really look to the wider rhythms of nine day and the season. Yeah. And all of that. And, again, can be very easy to override that when you're feeling a sense of pressure. Yeah. And I see a lot of people, you know, I've worked a lot with shadow work around it. And I think these two things are linked right in as much as coming back to that piece that we were talking about, with age and women and all of that. If we don't value Yin,

37:31

yeah, that's too softness. Yeah. Then

Ebonie Allard: 37:35

we're going to put that part of ourselves in the shadow. Yeah, then it does require some work. And some, you know, that you said the the kind of psychological element and the therapy element of talking, you know, why is it that we aren't more restful, or that we don't honour beauty or timeout or the winter?

Carolyn Sykes: 37:54

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Yin, is the most valuable, it's the most valuable, precious essence, that you could know, and you already have it, you just have to choose it. And I like that you said rest, that I think that might be a really good way of kind of saying it a different way of saying it then be more Yin, conscious rest. So like sleep is like unconscious rest. And being more Yin is about conscious rest, so that you can actually enjoy it, you know, the deliciousness of rest.

Ebonie Allard: 38:30

For me, the other way I describe it very often is it's being open and receptive. It is receiving, and, and so all of you know, you can't receive new ideas. Creative people often say to me, you're so creative. Yeah. But that requires periods of very conscious, Yin. Yes, and receptivity. Because otherwise there is no there's no way for new ideas or ideas to land to be Yeah. Yeah. Correct. And, you know, tiny last bit on that people often want more money, and more love. And when they are full of young, and particularly if you're all in you're young, and the person you're in a relationship with or want to be in a relationship with is in, they're young, or you're all young, and the clients you want to work with, they're all young, there's no space for that connection to take place. And so very often, if we can come back, you know, open space into that Yin, then people will step forward in direct. Yeah,

39:38

it's like a magnetism. It pulls them forward. And so you can receive more money by being more yen, or better motivation is

Ebonie Allard: 39:48

exactly, I mean, it's doing less. What else do you do? Do not believe it, right.

39:55

Yeah. And I think that's where the self worth comes in. The A love of yourself and all of that. And that's where the deeper work happens is, you know, healing that. Yeah.

Ebonie Allard: 40:07

And for me, the reason I like modalities like this is that they help you to do that work without without engaging this.

40:16

Exactly. Yeah, that would only get in the way. For sure.

Ebonie Allard: 40:20

I'm gonna wrap it up. Thank

40:21

you so, so much. You're welcome. Thanks for having me.