The One About The Power Of Coaching with Simon Ong [Re-release]

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Hey, this week's guest is an award winning a life

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coach is highly regarded for his energy, wisdom and insights as a

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speaker with a global presence. Simon Ong captivates audiences

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in keynote talks, fireside chats and workshops where he imparts

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knowledge on avoiding a human energy crisis through

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comprehensive energy management, spanning physical, mental,

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emotional, and spiritual perspectives. Simon firmly

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believes that when it comes to happiness and productivity,

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energy truly is everything. By unlocking the art and science of

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energy management. Simon equips his audiences with the tools to

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live each day with heightened energy levels, enabling them to

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transform their lives and careers. This episode is a

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rerelease of an episode that we recorded many, many years ago.

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This episode is actually from March 2019. And Simon's book

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energise was published by Penguin in 2022. He's also had a

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daughter since then, and in the Patreon part of the episode, I'm

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going to be diving a little bit deeper into those shifts and

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changes and sharing some behind the scenes stuff that may be

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helpful for you in your own energy management. For now,

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please enjoy this rereleased episode. When we look back at

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the one about the power of coaching.

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You are listening to Adulting with Ebonie. Season seven brings

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together neurodiversity Human Design and embodiment so that

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Gen X or millennial misfits, and late diagnosed neuro spaces

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become empowered, embodied and fully expressed. This is the

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show where I actively encourage you to feel your feelings rather

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than think that glow up, not grow up and become full of

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yourself. Because who the fuck else should you be full of each

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week I have real and raw conversations about what it

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takes to be fully resourced and have happy, healthy, intimate

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relationships as a dopamine deficient adult wanting to

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create a better future by being the change that you want to see

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in the world. I'm your host Ebonie Allard aka Ebonie Alchemy

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and late diagnosed AudHDer combined type Aspergers in case

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you like specifics artist, Mystic, and self actualization

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facilitator. I'm an international award winning

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multiple brain integration technique master coach with

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special interest in embodied human design for Neuro

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divergence. I've been in the personal development, creativity

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and entrepreneurship spaces all of my life and as a five to

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emotional manifesting generator with a left angle cross of

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distraction. I am here to help you know what to trust, and what

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to tune out. Each week, I share relatable practical ways that

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mean, you get to take less responsibility for more award

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and safely remove your camouflage for more belonging,

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acceptance and fulfilment. Ready, let's go.

Ebonie Allard: 00:03:19

Hello, my friend, welcome.

Unknown: 00:03:21

Thank you, ebony.

Ebonie Allard: 00:03:22

It's nice to see you again. It's nice, it's nice

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to get to have this conversation. Likewise,

Unknown: 00:03:28

you know, it's the beginning of a new year. And

Unknown: 00:03:30

it's good to touch base. And I'm sure we'll uncover a lot of

Unknown: 00:03:34

interesting things for our conversation today. Yeah, I've

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been starting all these conversations in a kind of

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similar way and asking people like what is being an adult, or

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what does adulting mean to you? For

Unknown: 00:03:45

me, I mean, adulting is it can be such a broad term, for

Unknown: 00:03:48

me, it's about taking responsibility for a life in a

Unknown: 00:03:52

way, you know, kind of being proactive, and taking charge for

Unknown: 00:03:55

where we want our life to develop towards you. Now we are

Unknown: 00:03:58

getting, I guess, a bit more freedom in the sense of we're

Unknown: 00:04:02

not in our parents nest anymore. Yeah, we're kind of out in the

Unknown: 00:04:05

world, creating our own life, it's really about taking

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responsibility for

Ebonie Allard: 00:04:08

that. I love that. And I think often we touch

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on responsibility. And some of the conversations that I've had

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before, you've also talked about choices and freedom. And for a

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lot of people, it can feel really fun. And we're in such a

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hurry, right to be an adult to leave our parents rule or a nest

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or whatever it is. And then for other people, it's such a huge,

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like responsibility, and it feels quite, like quite a

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pressure to be an adult.

Unknown: 00:04:37

Hmm. And I can I can understand what our pressure

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comes from because when you grew up, you know, I reflect on my my

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sort of upbringing as well is that we're always kind of taught

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about this linear path, in the sense that we get good grades we

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get to a good school, we get a good job and it's typically one

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of maybe five or six traditional jobs, you get out you get

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married, you have kids, you have fun Emily, and so the cycle

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continues again. And what happens is that can create

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unnecessary pressure on our minds on sort of our mental

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health, if you will, in the sense of we are benchmarking

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ourselves to those high standards of this is what it's

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meant to happen to be. Now, this is what we're meant to do. But I

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think from my own experience, often, it's really about

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uncovering what is our path, there is no one path, because

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there is so many different ways to arrive at happiness,

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fulfilment, joy, if you will. And part of that journey is

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really understanding what is the path for us not as not what the

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perfect everyone is, but our sort of path and follow their

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curiosity.

Ebonie Allard: 00:05:42

I love that. And for me, the key point that you

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made at the end, there is like following that that curiosity,

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right? Because, in at least my experience has been that the

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more curious and the more playful, I can be around

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following what is that path? What is it that interests me

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specifically? And going from that place, and also when they

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want to work with my clients, when I talk with other people

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when we're trying to please other people, or when we're

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trying to do what we think other people want us to do without

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necessarily even asking them? If we end up in this kind of mess?

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Where it's, it's really not as simple as it could be? Right?

Ebonie Allard: 00:06:19

No,

Unknown: 00:06:19

totally. And I think what happens is, in a way, when

Unknown: 00:06:22

we are valuing other people's opinions, or more than our own,

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about how we see ourselves, then in a way, we're giving up our

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freedom. And actually, when we begin to value our own opinions,

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our own views, have courage, have confidence that actually,

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we can bounce back, we can explore, and we can find our own

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way, I think what happens is that gives us such a higher

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degree of freedom, if you will, to to take control, and just to

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see what we learn in the process. Because otherwise,

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we're not really going to learn anything new, you know, we're

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always working on someone else's experience with the world. And

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what we come to realise over time is there's no one reality,

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there's only customised realities in the sense that the

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way you might interpret event will be different to the way I

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might interpret it. And it might be different again, to how some

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of our listeners might interpret an event. And what that means

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is, this shows how much our thinking impacts our reality.

Unknown: 00:07:14

How much what we bring into focus we bring into our reality

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and how that forms our experience of the world.

Ebonie Allard: 00:07:21

I love how you explain that such an eloquent

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way of explaining it, you know, I think there's lots of quotes

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out there in the world that saying, you know, the vidwan,

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for example, it's kind of coming into my mind, of the of the

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thought manifests as the D, you know, the deed, and the and the

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D becomes character, and you know, all of that. And yet, if

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we really think about it, it's what we're focusing on, right?

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Where our thoughts are going, which is what we bring through

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into our reality.

Unknown: 00:07:46

No, totally. i It's funny, because it reminds me of

Unknown: 00:07:49

a conversation, I had a phone when I when I tried to

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articulate this force and, and this being sort of connection,

Unknown: 00:07:56

your what we bring to our thinking we bring to our

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reality. And the story I shared with him is that it's quite

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anecdotal. But you can bring to mind these Tibetan monks when

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the top of the mountain Yeah, they're just wearing an orange

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row. They're meditating, they're praying. And they're weighing

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fairly minimal clothing. But yet, they don't suffer from the

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court. And what happens is, they have the ability to control

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their temperature, this sort of mind body connection. And

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someone says, oh, that's probably just superstition is

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some spiritual woowoo sort of stuff. But I said, just imagine

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that you arrived at the airport for your flight. And an hour

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before you're about to fly, or you're rushing to get to the

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airport, you realise you've forgotten your passport, you

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didn't pack that one thing you needed to pack to go on holiday.

Unknown: 00:08:45

And suddenly, everything's crumbling your mind mentally,

Unknown: 00:08:49

because you just don't have everything with you, and you

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start losing it in your mind, what happens is your body

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temperature starts to increase, you start to sweat, you start to

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stress. But what's happened is external temperature hasn't

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changed. And it shows the connection between the mind and

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bodies that now that when the mind gets busy, it gets

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overwhelmed. They get stressed, suddenly, the body's reacting,

Unknown: 00:09:11

and you feel it. And that's how close that connection is. That's

Ebonie Allard: 00:09:16

so such a perfect way. It's so simple to describe

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it in that way, because so many people can relate to that.

Unknown: 00:09:22

Yeah, no, definitely. Definitely.

Ebonie Allard: 00:09:24

So have you always felt this mind body

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connection for yourself? Is it something that you know you you

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turned 18 You became an adult? You understood all of this stuff

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instantly? Has it been a journey for you?

Unknown: 00:09:38

I would be lying if I said it wasn't overnight thing.

Unknown: 00:09:40

It's always about the journey, I think. And it's those sort of

Unknown: 00:09:45

small steps. You know, it's kind of like when you go to the to

Unknown: 00:09:48

the gym and uh, you know, when you you go to the gym for the

Unknown: 00:09:51

first day, you look in the mirror and you're like, I don't

Unknown: 00:09:53

see any results. I don't see any changes in my body and you go a

Unknown: 00:09:57

week later and it's the same thing you look in the mirror and

Unknown: 00:10:00

You don't see any changes. But what happens is over the months

Unknown: 00:10:04

over the years, suddenly you look in the mirror again, and

Unknown: 00:10:07

you're like, wow, look at the transformation. These things

Unknown: 00:10:11

happen so incrementally and I think was also helped his

Unknown: 00:10:15

personal experience. Yeah. So what I mean by that is, we're

Unknown: 00:10:20

always learning from experiences, whether those are

Unknown: 00:10:23

failures, whether those are successes, whether there's

Unknown: 00:10:26

expectations that didn't meet what we were thinking initially.

Unknown: 00:10:29

And from that, we're always becoming more self aware. And I

Unknown: 00:10:33

think it's important because we can only ever change something

Unknown: 00:10:36

when we are self aware about something. Yeah. Otherwise, if

Unknown: 00:10:40

we're not aware of something, we can't change anything. We're not

Unknown: 00:10:43

aware of what needs to change. Yeah. Such a big part of the

Unknown: 00:10:48

journey.

Ebonie Allard: 00:10:48

Yeah, you know, I, I feel like awareness. And

Ebonie Allard: 00:10:52

nowadays, like people kind of skip over it. Like, it's, the

Ebonie Allard: 00:10:56

first step is awareness. Yes, you must, you must have some

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more awareness. And it's like this is it's actually a really

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big deal. Because it's not something you just do once,

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:04

right? It is continual and, and it's also a practice, like,

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:08

actually, my experience has been making it a practice of

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observing who's spending some time every day with myself or

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with the thing that I am focused on or on shifting or changing,

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:21

whether that is my relationship to myself, my relationship to my

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:24

family, my partner, my friends, my money, whatever it is, just

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:29

being in awareness of it, just like you said, so because

Ebonie Allard: 00:11:31

without having that awareness, you can't shift it at all. No,

Unknown: 00:11:34

totally. And and it kind of reminds me of this, the

Unknown: 00:11:36

saying Aberdeen that often we need to slow down in order to

Unknown: 00:11:40

speed up. We're living. Wherever you're living in a modern city.

Unknown: 00:11:45

Now it's so busy, you know, everyone is kind of moving from

Unknown: 00:11:48

A to B, B to C, C to D, with no chance really to stop and

Unknown: 00:11:52

reflect on one, I guess, wherever we are, where we want

Unknown: 00:11:57

to be. What can we improve, and free? are we evaluating whether

Unknown: 00:12:03

we are working towards some of the goals we want, even though

Unknown: 00:12:06

it's quite timely, we're having this conversation now. Because

Unknown: 00:12:09

statistics seem to show that within the next two weeks,

Unknown: 00:12:12

nearly everyone who made a New Year's resolution would have

Unknown: 00:12:14

broken them. And it's probably because life just takes hold

Unknown: 00:12:19

again, you know, we just put ourselves back into this victim

Unknown: 00:12:22

mentality that we become reactive to life rather than

Unknown: 00:12:25

proactive, and taking control of where we want our year to go

Unknown: 00:12:30

towards living with intention, I guess, living with intention and

Unknown: 00:12:32

purpose.

Ebonie Allard: 00:12:34

Yeah, and I think I think it's really an

Ebonie Allard: 00:12:36

interesting thing, when you talked about the gym, and you

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talked about, you know, the, that nonlinear path and, and

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being open to almost it's like, continually coming back and

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evaluating rather than it being once a year or once a quarter

Ebonie Allard: 00:12:49

or, you know, when something goes wrong, and often people

Ebonie Allard: 00:12:52

wait until everything is not working before changes, right?

Unknown: 00:12:57

Yeah, totally. This is this difference between should

Unknown: 00:13:00

and must, you know, kind of reminds me of this scenario in

Unknown: 00:13:03

which many people in their minds, especially at this time,

Unknown: 00:13:05

they think I should change job, I should find a job that's more

Unknown: 00:13:08

fulfilling, I should explore a path that can bring you more joy

Unknown: 00:13:11

and happiness. But yet most people don't. Or I should wake

Unknown: 00:13:15

up earlier or I should go gym, why should exercise my should

Unknown: 00:13:18

spend more time with my loved ones. And only when something

Unknown: 00:13:22

happens that shocking to the system does that should become a

Unknown: 00:13:25

must, ie you lose your job, you get made redundant, you get

Unknown: 00:13:29

fired, or you have the potential of losing the relationship. And

Unknown: 00:13:35

then suddenly, that becomes a must. I must get a job. Now, I

Unknown: 00:13:39

must focus on this relationship. And so often we wait until that

Unknown: 00:13:42

point, before we end up taking action. Do you think

Ebonie Allard: 00:13:46

there's a way of making something like for you

Ebonie Allard: 00:13:49

and I, I'm talking for you, and that's not entirely fair. But

Ebonie Allard: 00:13:52

you and I who have made this our business do I have my personal

Ebonie Allard: 00:13:55

development, a way of life, becoming aware every day and

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:00

checking in with where we're at and choosing to work on things

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:04

before they become a must and making them a priority? At some

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:08

point, but not acting on things because they should, almost

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:13

freeing up space by not having shoulds in their law in our

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:16

lives, right? enables us to then pick and choose and feel much

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:20

more empowered about what it is that we're prioritising before

Ebonie Allard: 00:14:24

it becomes a must. How do you feel about that? Yeah,

Unknown: 00:14:28

definitely. I think, for me, there's a couple of

Unknown: 00:14:30

things that come to mind. One is the words we use to speak to

Unknown: 00:14:34

ourself impacts the actions that we actually do. And often I say

Unknown: 00:14:39

the person we speak to most in our lifetime is ourselves. Yeah.

Unknown: 00:14:43

And that's why language is so important. So often, when we

Unknown: 00:14:46

speak to ourself, it's I should, maybe I could, and it's not

Unknown: 00:14:50

definitive enough. It's always more of an interest. I'm

Unknown: 00:14:53

interested in changing jobs or I'm interested in raising the

Unknown: 00:14:57

quality of a relationship or why I can on my finances. But if

Unknown: 00:15:01

it's certainly something that you're interested in, I

Unknown: 00:15:04

guarantee you're not going to be fully invested in it, you're not

Unknown: 00:15:06

going to take it serious enough. When you change the language to

Unknown: 00:15:10

things like I will, I'm committed, I must. That's the

Unknown: 00:15:15

language of commitment, and it's definitive. You've told your

Unknown: 00:15:19

mind this is important. And what happens is now the subconscious

Unknown: 00:15:22

starts thinking great, how are we going to do this? How are we

Unknown: 00:15:26

going to work out and make our finances more solid? How am I

Unknown: 00:15:30

going to improve my relationship? How am I going to

Unknown: 00:15:32

get fitter? How am I going to bring more joy into my business

Unknown: 00:15:35

or my career? And, and so it's important, I think the language

Unknown: 00:15:39

would speak to itself. But second, it goes back to what we

Unknown: 00:15:42

were speaking about. Just now ebony about slowing down about

Unknown: 00:15:46

reflecting. Yeah, there's a beautiful statement that says

Unknown: 00:15:50

when you quieten the mind, that soul will speak. And I think

Unknown: 00:15:55

it's that power of reflection when we are able to be more

Unknown: 00:16:00

present. We're not only able to listen more to our innate

Unknown: 00:16:05

wisdom, but we're also able to connect better with people.

Unknown: 00:16:09

Yeah, we're so distracted nowadays with whether it's

Unknown: 00:16:12

social media, whether it's emails, whether it's demands on

Unknown: 00:16:15

our attention, whether it's everyone telling us something as

Unknown: 00:16:18

urgent, when in reality, probably half of it isn't. And

Unknown: 00:16:22

so it's our ability to be present and to actually

Unknown: 00:16:25

understand how we can be value and also understand what people

Unknown: 00:16:30

are thinking to empathise with people. And that's what ends up

Unknown: 00:16:33

I think, bringing us closer. In business, we talk about b2b b2c,

Unknown: 00:16:36

but fundamentally everything is HDH is human to human, when we

Unknown: 00:16:41

can give people the gift of listening. Yeah, how many people

Unknown: 00:16:46

have had the experience of being truly deeply listened to when we

Unknown: 00:16:49

can give people that gift. It's powerful. It's powerful, not

Unknown: 00:16:55

only for our connection, but also for our understanding of

Unknown: 00:16:57

people. And it makes us not a better person, but also better

Unknown: 00:17:00

leaders. And also were of what we can do to continue improve. I

Unknown: 00:17:05

think those two things come to mind. On the back of what we're

Unknown: 00:17:08

discussing Devaney. Yeah,

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:11

I really like the idea of slowing down and

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:14

creating space in our relationships. My clients will

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:17

have heard me use this analogy a lot. I often talk about matrix

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:21

time. So you know that bit in the Matrix where Neo is an age

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:25

myself terribly, because a lot of my clients are now like what

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:28

you've made, or whatever. But there's a bit in the matrix

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:32

where there are lots of bullets flying at Neo, and he kind of

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:37

you know, he's he's slowed down the space between him and

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:41

everything that's flying at him so that he can catch a bullet

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:44

mid air, and drop it. And I often say, you know, some of the

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:47

work that we're doing here, it isn't about creating a different

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:50

system or a strategy or honing your message or getting a

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:53

different offer out there. Often. It's about creating space

Ebonie Allard: 00:17:57

in your reality, so that you can actually see and feel what's

Ebonie Allard: 00:18:01

going on and allow that in our innate wisdom, your intuition,

Ebonie Allard: 00:18:04

if you like, I urge you as to what is urgent and what is

Ebonie Allard: 00:18:08

important, and what you can actually set a boundary around

Ebonie Allard: 00:18:11

or declutter or say no to, to continue to have the kind of

Ebonie Allard: 00:18:15

space that makes your life easy and comfortable and enjoyable.

Unknown: 00:18:20

Tony, it's all about understanding us, I think that

Unknown: 00:18:23

core of who we are. And I think a lot of it comes from a place

Unknown: 00:18:27

of identity. You know, a lot of people want to begin the year or

Unknown: 00:18:30

try something new. It comes from a place of doing, I'm going to

Unknown: 00:18:33

go gym three times a week, I'm going to do this next week, I'm

Unknown: 00:18:37

going to do that. And a lot of a lot of doing things requires

Unknown: 00:18:41

willpower, you almost feel like you have to push yourself to do

Unknown: 00:18:44

something. Yeah. But if we can transition to a place of

Unknown: 00:18:48

identity, and I think identity is very fluid, you know, the

Unknown: 00:18:50

identity of who we are today, I'm sure is very different to

Unknown: 00:18:53

where we were five or even 10 years ago. identities can be

Unknown: 00:18:56

fluid, but when we know who we are and what we want to stand

Unknown: 00:18:59

for, then our choices become made. Yeah, if you see yourself,

Unknown: 00:19:05

as I don't know, a world class athlete, then you're not going

Unknown: 00:19:09

to choose McDonald's over healthy cooking that will allow

Unknown: 00:19:12

you to be at your prime and your nutrition helps you to be at the

Unknown: 00:19:15

peak condition. So your choice is already made. And so it's

Unknown: 00:19:18

understanding what you want to stand for, and the identity of

Unknown: 00:19:23

who you want to be first. And kind of everything then follows

Unknown: 00:19:26

from that. And I don't know if you've seen the film Inception,

Unknown: 00:19:31

I believe. Yes, I have. So this film by Christopher Nolan with

Unknown: 00:19:35

Leonardo DiCaprio is the main character in which he tries at

Unknown: 00:19:40

inception, on on this guy to plant an idea, if you will, in

Unknown: 00:19:45

his subconscious. So he feels that he owns it. And I remember

Unknown: 00:19:48

getting asked a question at a conference I was speaking about

Unknown: 00:19:51

someone in the audience has said, Simon, can you explain how

Unknown: 00:19:54

your coaching work because it's quite abstract. Yeah, I don't

Unknown: 00:19:58

really get the concept of coach And first of all, I said, it's

Unknown: 00:20:01

kind of like close up magic, in the sense that if I describe to

Unknown: 00:20:06

you a magic trick, you can't really connect with it. However,

Unknown: 00:20:11

if a magician came into the room right now and did a magic trick

Unknown: 00:20:14

in front of you live, your mind would be blown. You'll be Wow,

Unknown: 00:20:18

how did you do that trick. And what's happened? It's, it

Unknown: 00:20:23

creates an experience in the moment. And coaching is like

Unknown: 00:20:26

that. It's an experience, difficult to often describe, but

Unknown: 00:20:29

it's something that has to be experienced in that moment. And

Unknown: 00:20:32

then it led me on to Inception because I thought this was a

Unknown: 00:20:35

great way to illustrate how it works. So I said, often, someone

Unknown: 00:20:40

might come to me and said, This is my problem. This is my issue.

Unknown: 00:20:43

And it's kind of their reality. But our job as coaches is really

Unknown: 00:20:47

then to unravelled and unpackage, that, and to go

Unknown: 00:20:52

deeper. So kind of instead of dream within a dream, we go

Unknown: 00:20:55

layer beneath the layer beneath the layer, all the way down to

Unknown: 00:20:59

Limbo so we can kind of see who they really are, beneath all

Unknown: 00:21:03

that noise beneath all that sort of conditioning, if you will,

Unknown: 00:21:07

has been there for years, maybe decades. And when we understand

Unknown: 00:21:11

what their world is at its core, we can begin to bring them back

Unknown: 00:21:16

up the layers, but by planting new seeds, igniting different

Unknown: 00:21:19

imaginations or possibilities, so when they get back, our

Unknown: 00:21:22

reality has not changed, but the way they see their reality has

Unknown: 00:21:26

completely transformed.

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:29

Such a good analogy, such a good analogy, I

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:32

think it's you know, I find, using words to describe

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:36

something that we feel is really difficult. You know, it's it's a

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:40

shift, and it's why very often you have to experience it in to

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:44

truly understand and to experience it and truly

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:47

understand how powerful you can be and how powerful the coaching

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:51

relationship can be. You have to take a risk, you have to say

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:56

yes, when you are stepping into something that you haven't yet

Ebonie Allard: 00:21:59

experienced. And I think if we if we bring that back to

Ebonie Allard: 00:22:05

adulting, and like this idea of of, for me, being a kickass and

Ebonie Allard: 00:22:09

kind adult in this modern world is really about showing up and

Ebonie Allard: 00:22:12

coming from kindness coming from compassion for for all things

Ebonie Allard: 00:22:16

including ourselves, right?

Unknown: 00:22:19

The totally, it's what you said about risk Ebony and

Unknown: 00:22:23

about sort of being brave to sort of take things forward

Unknown: 00:22:26

reminds me of I went to this conference where Richard Branson

Unknown: 00:22:30

spoke, he was launching his latest book, finding my

Unknown: 00:22:32

virginity. And one of the most important tips to gates, new

Unknown: 00:22:37

people starting a business or trying something they've never

Unknown: 00:22:40

done before, is he said to begin before you're ready. And the

Unknown: 00:22:45

reason he said that is because there is no such thing as ready.

Unknown: 00:22:48

There is no such thing as the perfect moment, or in

Unknown: 00:22:51

everything, it's just the way you want it. He said when I was

Unknown: 00:22:54

when I launched the Virgin Atlantic, I didn't know

Unknown: 00:22:57

everything, there wasn't about planes. I'm by no means an

Unknown: 00:23:00

aeroplane expert. But I saw an opportunity I saw potential. And

Unknown: 00:23:04

I thought the rest I'm gonna learn along the way. And so it's

Unknown: 00:23:08

that ability to trust that you have enough to get started. And

Unknown: 00:23:13

whatever else you will need will come to you as you build that

Unknown: 00:23:16

momentum. And on risk. One of the things I found especially

Unknown: 00:23:20

looking at my own journey, I'm sure you can relate to this as

Unknown: 00:23:23

well, Ebony is that it's very difficult for any one of us to

Unknown: 00:23:28

fulfil our full potential in life, if we're not willing to

Unknown: 00:23:32

take any risk at all. If we're not willing to take any risk,

Unknown: 00:23:36

it's impossible to fulfil our potential.

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:39

We won't learn and we won't grow, you know, and

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:41

we're and if we're not moving forwards, then we have to be

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:44

dying. It's the only thing that works for living organisms,

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:48

right? We have two choices, we are either alive and growing, or

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:53

we are dying and in order to grow, and there's always going

Ebonie Allard: 00:23:58

to be a risk something has to in a way, dissolve into something

Ebonie Allard: 00:24:02

new and bigger. Right. So

Unknown: 00:24:04

they totally reminds me of the saying that I can't

Unknown: 00:24:07

remember off my head who said this, but there's this quote

Unknown: 00:24:09

that comes up in my mind now that says most people merely

Unknown: 00:24:12

exist few people truly live. And and I think we've got the

Unknown: 00:24:18

greatest gift there is you know, there was this talk by Mel

Unknown: 00:24:20

Robbins on on TED, I'm not sure if you've you've watched his Mel

Unknown: 00:24:23

Robbins talk. But she said something to me, which made me

Unknown: 00:24:27

deeply grateful. She said that the probability and it is very

Unknown: 00:24:31

difficult to get an exact probability but roughly, the

Unknown: 00:24:34

probability of us being born is estimated to be one in over

Unknown: 00:24:41

400,000,000,000,001 in over 400 trillion. Now, I can kind of

Unknown: 00:24:47

understand that if you think about our grandparents, parents

Unknown: 00:24:51

and the fact that two generations had to survive two

Unknown: 00:24:54

world wars, the chances of your parents going to give at a time

Unknown: 00:24:59

that did this don't have a child the time they did. And you being

Unknown: 00:25:02

one of them, I have many other sperm that survived to get to

Unknown: 00:25:07

the egg in order to start a child. So when you add all of

Unknown: 00:25:09

that together, it makes you really grateful that you are

Unknown: 00:25:13

born and you are able to experience this gift of life.

Unknown: 00:25:17

And you realise we are well most people in the world are trying

Unknown: 00:25:20

to still play and win the lottery, we've kind of already

Unknown: 00:25:22

won the greatest lottery there is going which is the lottery of

Unknown: 00:25:26

life. And the question I think, for us, is what are we going to

Unknown: 00:25:30

do with this winning ticket? What are we going to do with

Unknown: 00:25:32

this winning ticket? Are we going to waste it? Or are we

Unknown: 00:25:35

going to spend it for all it's worth? Oh, that's such a

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:38

perfect place to end if people want to come find

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:40

out more about you and the work that you do, where you're

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:44

speaking or how to get involved with your personal or business

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:47

coaching where the best place I'll put all the links in the

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:49

show notes, but where are the best places for them to come

Ebonie Allard: 00:25:51

find you.

Unknown: 00:25:53

Fantastic. So best first place is my website. So

Unknown: 00:25:57

it's Simon Alexander on.com. Alternatively, if people

Unknown: 00:26:02

listening are all over social media, you can easily find me on

Unknown: 00:26:07

Instagram and Twitter, the handles at Simon Alexander O. Or

Unknown: 00:26:12

check out videos on my YouTube, as well as Link Tinder. So feel

Unknown: 00:26:16

free to connect. And if you've got any other questions

Unknown: 00:26:18

following this podcast with ebony, then feel free to get in

Unknown: 00:26:21

touch.

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:22

Fantastic. I will make sure that all those links

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:25

are easily clickable for people to come find you and say hello.

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:29

And when you do and I'm an adult, but with me just a little

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:33

sentence completion. Yeah, sure. I haven't even thought about one

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:38

yet today at all. What am I gonna go with? I am an adult,

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:44

but I really don't have it all figured out. Some days I really

Ebonie Allard: 00:26:48

am merely existing. Hmm.

Unknown: 00:26:52

My one is I would say I am an adult. But it's not always

Unknown: 00:26:56

what it seems on the outside. And I guess what people think

Unknown: 00:26:59

when I always look at social media, which looks like this

Unknown: 00:27:01

perfect life is behind the scenes. I am also learning a

Unknown: 00:27:06

hell of a lot. I also don't know a lot. And I'm also Yeah, I do

Unknown: 00:27:12

get nervous as well sometimes. And sometimes it's overcoming my

Unknown: 00:27:14

own challenges in order to help other people that we all no

Unknown: 00:27:18

matter what our back, when it's a matter of what success people

Unknown: 00:27:20

might feel like they're hurting. Everyone's going through their

Unknown: 00:27:22

own battles and challenges.

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:23

Yeah. Thank you. I love that as and it's so true,

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:27

I think for so many of us to engage in that way. Thank you

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:30

for coming and having this conversation with me and for

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:32

hanging out. And yeah, it's been just a real pleasure chatting

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:36

with you.

Unknown: 00:27:37

Likewise, Ebony, look forward to hearing this when it

Unknown: 00:27:39

goes live. Thank you.

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:42

This has been editing with ebony. I've been

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:45

Evany you've been great. Thank you so much for all of your

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:48

support. Please keep listening, liking, rating and sharing so

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:52

that more people can enjoy and engage with us. If you want even

Ebonie Allard: 00:27:56

more of me and more importantly, even more of you in the world.

Ebonie Allard: 00:28:00

Take the next step become a patron or even a member get your

Ebonie Allard: 00:28:04

free human design chart or or your compass okay the value

Ebonie Allard: 00:28:08

filter. To begin at your lower go to www dot ebony alive.com

Ebonie Allard: 00:28:13

forward slash welcome more. And I will see you next time