The One About Being Willing And Highly Involved with Stefanos Sifandos [Re-release]

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This week's guest is immersed in deep men's

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empowerment work and intimate relationships. He merges the

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best of eastern and western methodologies and philosophies

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to promote balance, clarity, and joy in life. This week's guest

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is Stefanos Sifandos. And this is a re released episode that we

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recorded way back when. And this was episode 69 of series one and

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I'm re releasing this episode and now because it was one of my

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favourite episodes, and because Stefanos is such an incredible

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example of embodiment and of showing up and doing the work,

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you are going to love this episode. If you want to have an

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example of men doing the work if you want to have an example of

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what it means to walk your talk, if you are interested in

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intimacy, and if you want to understand relationships better.

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In this episode, we talk about how true adulting is about the

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willingness to participate fully in your own life. And what that

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looks like in practice, seminars reached out to me all those

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years ago and at the time, I knew his now wife quite well,

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but I didn't know him. And I was impressed with the way that he

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reached out and how present he was how embodied and grounded he

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was. And I said yes, absolutely. And at that point, no one had

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really heard of him, or at least I hadn't heard of it. And now he

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is everywhere. He's the founder of two incredible businesses. He

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is an incredible father, partner, husband, and continues

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to do the work. I think that you will really love this episode.

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And in the patron part this week, I have a voice now from

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Stef letting me know what things have changed since we recorded

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and there is also going to be an announcement from me about some

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changes that are happening in my life and and that in the

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business that that may very well affect you that I'm going to

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release to the patrons first.

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And then I will be sharing next week with everybody else that

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You are listening to Adulting with Ebonie. season seven brings

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together neurodiversity Human Design and embodiment so that

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Gen X or millennial misfits, and late diagnosed neuro spaces

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become empowered, embodied and fully expressed. This is the

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show where I actively encourage you to feel your feelings rather

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than think that glow up, not grow up and become full of

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yourself. Because who the fuck out should you be full of each

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week I have real and raw conversations about what it

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takes to be fully resourced and have happy, healthy, intimate

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relationships as a dopamine deficient adult wanting to

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create a better future by being the change that you want to see

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in the world. I'm your host ebony Allard aka editing alchemy

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late diagnosed AudHDr combined type and aspergers syndrome in

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case you'd like specifics. Artist, mystic and self

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actualization facilitator. I'm an international award winning

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multiple brain integration technique master coach with

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special interest in embodied human design for Neuro

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divergence. I've been in the personal development creativity

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and entrepreneurship spaces all of my life and as a five to

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emotional manifesting generator with a left angle cross of

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distraction. I am here to help you know what to trust and what

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to tune out. Each week I share relatable practical ways that

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mean, you get to take less responsibility for more reward,

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and safely remove your camouflage for more belonging,

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acceptance and fulfilment. Ready, let's go.

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Hey,

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hey, thank you for having me. Thanks for coming and talking to

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me. I'm so glad to have you here today. Absolutely. I'm excited.

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I'm excited. I have been starting all of these

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conversations by asking my guests what adulting or what

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being an adult means for you.

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I love I love this question. I think it's such a cool question.

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So for me, it means

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two things are one in the same willingness and high

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involvement.

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Ah, it's my favourite answer yet. I don't mean anyone else

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listening.

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It's a great answer, because I want to ask you questions about

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it. So tell me more what, tell me what that means for you.

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Yeah, so So for me, you know, adulting is this and it's such a

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beautiful place to be when we're children like this innocence,

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this curiosity in this exploration that we have, which

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I feel is so necessary to carry that into our adulthood as well.

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But adulting for me is and I learned this the very, very hard

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way through my own personal experiences where I wasn't

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willing. And I wasn't highly involved in what I did, and no

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one wants to. And so willingness is, I mean, willingness can come

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under many, many different guises. And for me, it's, are

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you willing to do the hard work? Are you willing to look at your

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stuff? Are you willing to experience joy? Are you willing

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to give Are you willing to receive are you willing to be

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highly involved in whatever it is that you're doing that's

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coupled with attention and deep deliberate intention for

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movement through the world. And so what it really means is that

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we're actually giving fucking thought to what we're doing. And

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we're paying attention to who we wish to be and how we wish to

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express and is it serving our highest good, and is it serving

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others. So willingness, and high involvement means just being

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really present caring presence in everything that we do, and in

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all that we are. And in order to do that, to do it, well, I call

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this selfish selflessness, where we simultaneously prioritise

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ourselves and the well being of others. And it's a really hard

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thing to do when we think about, like it's almost, and then

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because there's nothing wrong with being selfish in a healthy

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way, there's nothing wrong with being selfless in a healthy way,

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they both they fall on the spectrum, and you can be

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extremely selfish and extremely selfless. And that's unhealthy

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as well. And so this balance of selfish selflessness, where and

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it's really tough to do like when you when you start,

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practising it, and playing with it, it's really challenging,

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because it's like you're considering your needs, and

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you're doing your best to consider the needs of others and

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doesn't mean it's always going to work out where everybody's

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needs met. However, we're attempting to. So there's a

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willingness there. And there's a high involvement because when

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we're highly involved, we're highly attentive to what we're

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doing and who we're being, we're not fucking being mindless,

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walking through the world with blinkers.

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I love that so much. In my book, I call that self baldness. And

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it's like, it's like mindfulness. But when I it,

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again, is a very similar idea of balancing these two things. And

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I just love that explanation because it allows you to be

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centred in your own world, whilst still completely

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understanding that we're relational beings, and that all

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of it at the end of the day is about connectedness, right? Yep.

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Love that term, relational beings. I use that often. So it

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makes me very happy that you just said that.

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There's something that you just said that I wanted to ask you

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more about carbon, but it was no Oh, yeah. So for me, again, it's

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all about this idea of union, right of like, he talked about

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the balance between being selfish whilst being also

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mindful of others. And in my experience, kind of, regardless

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of gender, they're this idea of masculine energy or, and

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feminine energy and everything in my world, at least in my

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belief, or the way I see it, my experience is that all of us

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have both of those energies within us. And so it can be

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really useful to use at different times and to employ in

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different times and each of us have got kind of a healthy

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version and a wounded or an unhealthy version. And I

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wondered what your take on that was.

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Yeah, it was a massive question and an amazing question as well.

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And so for me, when we're in a healthy state is to simplify.

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We're in unhealthy states of expression with being extreme in

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our expression. And so with extremity comes volatility, with

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extremity comes in patients with extremity comes forcefulness

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with extremity can come violence and aberrant and aggression, and

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hyper selfishness. And so with that unhealthy extremity.

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We live in a place of isolation and disconnection we live in a

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place of me, me, me, what can I get from this? And so that's not

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always going to be completely useful and health or to our

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growth as a collective, and as individuals. And so the opposite

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of that is simply the opposite of that is connection is unity,

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is understanding is compassion is empathy, is openness, as

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opposed to restriction and constriction is a battleground

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mentality or an approach of abundance as opposed to

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scarcity. And I completely agree with you as well. Well, when you

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you speak to

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masculine and feminine being expressive states that every

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sentient being holds. And there, it's really just the two sides

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of the same coin. And it's how we express the one and having a

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balance of that is is important and depending on what schools of

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thought you you attune to So, like David data's work, he would

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say that men will would hold you know, 70 80% of masculinity and

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the rest is feminine traits or feminine expressing

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Right, so I'm paraphrasing here. And we're, it's the opposite for

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women. And there's something to that. And there's a combination

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there of collective cultural conditioning and also biology as

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well. Like our brain, our brains are different men and women, if

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we're just talking binary gender just for a moment to have a

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conversation. Men and women are hardwired differently. Our

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hormonal patterns are different as well. And so that influences

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our behaviour, a couple that with culture and 1000s of years

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of

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a lot of stuff. We do present differently to the world. And at

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the same time, we're the same. So it's okay to be different,

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because we are fucking different. And that we share so

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many similarities as well, which is really beautiful, too. And so

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I love I love that I love. I love dancing in that moving

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through that I think that's really important that we give

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ourselves the opportunity to be different. Like to actually go

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Yeah, okay, we're different. It's okay, it's okay to be

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different. And what are our similarities? And how can we

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leverage our healthy expressive traits of masculine and feminine

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in contemporary times? And that's a massive question that

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is being unpacked as we speak. Now we're unpacking it now. As

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an example.

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Yeah. I feel like you and I could talk for hours, I'm trying

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to control myself and like, keep it tuned into like, one area one

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thing rather than just go. And yes, and this and this mentioned

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dancing with it. And it was, you mentioned it kind of in a, I

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guess, a metaphorical way. And yet, I kind of want to steer us

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towards embodiment and Steris to

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Okay, so how do I put this, my experience of

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really getting to the heart of this work that we're talking

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about? And allowing ourselves to be willing and present comes

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when we attune to our bodies? And when we are stopped being

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walking heads on sticks and start really feeling what's

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going on? Would you say that, that you agree with that? Or

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that that feels true for you, too? If it was true for me,

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yeah, absolutely. embodiment is a massive part of that

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embodiment, being in the body and being visceral in the body

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and being able to interpret what the body is telling us because

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we, you know, we scan our environment through our enteric

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system, and being able to interpret that accurately, as

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accurately as possible instead of, you know, with layers of

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conditioning that isn't our own is so important. So I very much

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agree with you. Yes. And is that the would you say that that's

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something that you focus on when you're working? I didn't even

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ask you whether you work mostly it's mostly with men's men with

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men that you work, right.

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No, actually, it's very interesting. No, both men and

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women equally, actually.

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Cool. Okay. So I, when I'm trying to get people into that

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place of really understanding who they are, and promote kind

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of balance and clarity and joy, it for me, it centres in the

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body, because often what we think we want, and what we want,

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or what is true for us are different. And I don't know

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whether you've got any experience of of that in terms

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of embodiment, or whether there's other ways really to

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find that balance and clarity or check in with who we really are

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when we are perhaps in relationship and we have getting

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steered off course we're finding it difficult to communicate. My

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port of call would always be to come back to the body and I

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yeah, I just wanted what you think.

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You know, I agree. I love that. And I love to couple that with

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an integration of, of heart and mind. And so symbolically. And

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pragmatically what that looks like is when we when we leave so

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in, I'll focus on men for a moment. And so when as men we

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lead from the heart, and we layer that with a consciousness.

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In other words, we have we're cognizant beings, we have this

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ability to future think we can collapse time, we can expand

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time, just with this thing called the mind. And so when we

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make decisions in life that are grounded in our sexuality in a

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healthy way. So in other words, we're not we're not taking a

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scattergun approach because sexuality is lifeforce energy,

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sexuality is direction, sexuality is so much more than

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just physical sexuality, and physical sexual expression. And

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it's that as well. So at a biological, physiological level,

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it's there, and it's also so much more. And so when we take

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that energy, the power of our life force as men, and we don't

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just think or come from our genitalia, because we're

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ungrounded we're actually just, we're just coming from our, our

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cocktail, we're not actually grounded in our balls. And

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that's not healthy for us, because what happens is we're

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making decisions based on pure biological motives. Again,

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nothing wrong with that, but when it's not coupled, we live

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in a far more complex society that we did forth 300 400,000

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years ago.

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And our level of consciousness has also shifted, we can only

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assume based on what we know. So

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when we come

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All that with leading from the heart? In other words, asking

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what's in my highest good right now, right now in this moment?

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And what is best for that person as well? And how can I come to

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this relationship with this dynamic or this particular

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situation with an open heart with compassion with empathy,

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empathy, with clarity with understanding with a yearning to

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serve myself, them. And then we couple that with consciousness

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and thinking the future, what is going to be the best outcome for

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this moving forward as well. That's a that's a very, it's a

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massive difference, as opposed to just coming from what so many

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men do in unhealthy ways is coming from their clock, and

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just thinking from their clocks. And so, in order to do all of

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that, though, to have integration, which can be also

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known as intuition, we have to be in body we have to be in the

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body, we have to feel the body literally tuning ask what is the

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body saying right now, because the unconscious self resides in

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every cell of our body. And so the unconscious self drives so

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much of who we are. So what we know to be true our belief

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systems, who we are is in the body. So men, women, any

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sentient being, any conscious sentient being that taps into

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what is the body saying right now. And it's a practice, right,

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like it takes years and years. I mean, monks disappear into the

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mountains for 50 years to get into this to get to these

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audience states. It's funny, it's like a paradox get in the

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body to get out of the body.

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Get out of the body to get in the body. And so, you know, we

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negate we negate the power of body of the physical body, and

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there's, there's so much value there. So when we start

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communicating, consciously, we ask our body questions, what

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does our body wants to need?

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It's a very empowering process.

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I yeah, I love that as an explanation, I think it's, so

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the way that you use words and the way you talk about it really

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helpful, I think for both genders or, you know, again,

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talking binary for now. And to get into that place of

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integration. And I, is that something that's always just

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been clear to you and obvious to you? Or have you been on? Tell

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me more about your journey? Like, how did you get here? How

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did you get to this place where you, it sounds like feels to me

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and again, most of my knowing comes from feeling rather than

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thinking? And it feels like it's very integrated for you. I can

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feel that as you talk. Yeah, thank you. And I really

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appreciate that.

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I really do appreciate that. And not from a place of

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heightened ego, per se, but more from a place of

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and not, again, not from places of heightened echo and

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recognition, but more from place of faqeer. I've, I've spent many

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years in this place. And to answer your question very

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directly, I have not always been this way. I haven't, I haven't.

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So as a child, I was really embodied. And those gifts or

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those expressions were very stunted. Because of my

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environment. I grew up in a very, you know,

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I mean, very, is an arbitrary term, but I grew up in an

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violent, physically emotionally abusive household. And so a lot

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of me was repressed. And so I went through these, these these

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fluxes and these flows. And as a child, I was very repressed and

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very passive. And as a teenager, and as a young adult, I was very

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overt and violent myself, and you always get in fights, always

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just hyper aggressive. Just it was just a

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very intense time, generally speaking. And so with that came

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a misconstrued understanding of what it meant to be a man and

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how me as a man, how I treat myself and how we treat women, I

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lived a lot in the shadows, and I was unfaithful in most of my

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relationships, I was disconnected and dishonest in

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most of my relationships. I was always pursuing this embodiment,

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and I was doing it in a way that was unhealthy and harmful to

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myself and to others. And so and when that came to a head a few

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years ago, I made it this is a very short condensed version,

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obviously, I made a decision to be a different man and be a

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different person, whatever it took, and I put death on the

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table, I put death on the table. I said, if it physically kills

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me, I don't care. I'm, I mean, I'm all in. There was a first

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time my life I went all in into anything. And I mean, all in, I

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had no choice but to be embodied. I had no choice but to

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go into the body to feel everything, I had to feel all of

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my pain and this is something that so many of us don't do. And

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I'm not saying that pain is the only way for growth and growth

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being a primary driver for the human condition. And one of the

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the main reason why I believe while we're here is to grow and

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expand and synonymous with that is freedom and love and so

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forth.

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But where we are collectively as a humanity, we need to

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experience pain and we don't have to stay there and we don't

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have to fester in it. But we do learn very well from pain isn't

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the only way to learn. That is a given. For me and my personal

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journey. I had to go through a lot of pain a lot of

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deconstruction of self delayering self multiple ego

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death, spiritual death, emotional deaths, close to

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physical death, you know, the contemplation of suicide and the

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almost it's

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Taking on the action of suicide as well, because it was so

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overbearing. And so I couldn't kick myself out of the body,

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like so many of us and I did for so long is are suppressed that

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I'll forget about that. And I'll distract myself whether it be

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with work, whether it be with alcohol, whether it be with

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women, whether it be with exercise, and movement and

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fitness, you know, I remember I would sometimes train for eight

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hours would move my body, if I exhaust myself so much. It was

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never drugs, there was never really alcohol at all, it was

Unknown: 00:20:29

always that I was exhaust myself so much, I didn't give myself

Unknown: 00:20:32

the capacity to think about my stuff, or get into the body in

Unknown: 00:20:35

that way, get into the body in a striking way. And so it wasn't.

Unknown: 00:20:39

So I made that choice. And I became willing, I became highly

Unknown: 00:20:42

involved and fully attentive, and I made that choice to be

Unknown: 00:20:45

present. Everything that was unravelling

Unknown: 00:20:49

was when I really began to make the shift. And I was also going

Unknown: 00:20:51

to be able to I was able to experience the beauty and the

Unknown: 00:20:53

wonder of what it meant to be human as well. The desirable

Unknown: 00:20:56

states of being the happiness, the joy, the bliss, the

Unknown: 00:20:58

receiving the deservingness.

Unknown: 00:21:01

But I had to, for me, personally, my journey was I had

Unknown: 00:21:03

to go through a lot of shit or a pain to get there.

Unknown: 00:21:08

Thank you for sharing that with us.

Unknown: 00:21:10

Thank you for listening.

Unknown: 00:21:14

What's really interesting for me, it's so interesting. I've

Unknown: 00:21:16

been in the personal development world, my whole life have been

Unknown: 00:21:19

surrounded by

Unknown: 00:21:22

psychotherapists and body practitioners and yoga and

Unknown: 00:21:26

Feldenkrais and just all sorts of stuff my whole life. I was

Unknown: 00:21:29

well that was born into and, you know, my vision was to escape it

Unknown: 00:21:33

by

Unknown: 00:21:35

working in TV and finding drugs and alcohol and

Unknown: 00:21:39

yeah, a different path in a different way. And when I hear

Unknown: 00:21:44

people who say I used exercise to escape, there's a part of me

Unknown: 00:21:49

that's like, what, how,

Unknown: 00:21:53

you know, why? Why did I not find this healthy way to and I'm

Unknown: 00:21:59

doing air quotes, healthy way to engage the body, right. And so I

Unknown: 00:22:03

think it's really important for people like yourself to share

Unknown: 00:22:08

that you can overtrain that you can over exercise

Unknown: 00:22:11

to the body and look like you're engaging and being without

Unknown: 00:22:17

actually, yeah.

Unknown: 00:22:20

Without it being willing and without being receptive. And

Unknown: 00:22:23

about, you know, all of all of that. So thank you for sharing

Unknown: 00:22:25

that. It's really important. Thank you. If someone's in that

Unknown: 00:22:29

space, if they're in a place of like here, or they've heard

Unknown: 00:22:32

something that you shared on they're like, oh, yeah, I'm

Unknown: 00:22:35

playing this out. I've got this aggression. I'm not feeling and

Unknown: 00:22:39

I'm using this to avoid or to numb. Do you have any words of

Unknown: 00:22:43

like, I guess, wisdom or advice or encouragement or, you know,

Unknown: 00:22:48

how can they step in? Or what would that first step be?

Unknown: 00:22:53

Well, firstly, we think whenever we're in anything, that it's

Unknown: 00:22:57

permanent, and it's not, we live in a world of impermanence,

Unknown: 00:23:00

there is no permanence. The only thing that is permanent is the

Unknown: 00:23:03

intangible, and we're so disconnected from the intangible

Unknown: 00:23:05

to mute conversation, as a collective, there's no point

Unknown: 00:23:08

even talking about it. So everything in this in this world

Unknown: 00:23:11

is no point talking about at this point in time, for this

Unknown: 00:23:14

conversation, nature, this conversation, everything is

Unknown: 00:23:16

impermanent. So

Unknown: 00:23:18

when we read it, though, it's like, ah, doom and gloom, the

Unknown: 00:23:21

end of the world, I literally, we're going to feel sad forever.

Unknown: 00:23:23

Are we going to be a failure, failure, air quotes forever?

Unknown: 00:23:28

Are we going to be disconnected for it? Are we going to be in

Unknown: 00:23:30

pain forever? And the answer is no. Because at some point,

Unknown: 00:23:33

you'll physically die in the pain blink. So we understand

Unknown: 00:23:35

anyway, because consciousness then disconnect from the

Unknown: 00:23:37

physical body, the physical body, such shuts down and the

Unknown: 00:23:40

neural system no longer feels so yes, the pain will end at some

Unknown: 00:23:42

point. So many of us why so many of us think about suicide or go

Unknown: 00:23:48

into that, because when the pain that's very sad, because we

Unknown: 00:23:52

don't realise it, you just really realised that it's

Unknown: 00:23:55

impermanent, when so in terms of advice, just realising that it's

Unknown: 00:23:59

impermanent and telling ourselves that this is

Unknown: 00:24:00

impermanent, this is impermanent. But in terms of

Unknown: 00:24:03

something tangible, this is really important. And so let's

Unknown: 00:24:06

get into the body. Because the here's the paradox, the quicker

Unknown: 00:24:10

and there's something that training taught me a lot. Now

Unknown: 00:24:12

work with I've worked with elite special forces, soldiers and

Unknown: 00:24:17

athletes and world champion fighters and guys are really

Unknown: 00:24:21

challenged and push their bodies massively. And we've been as

Unknown: 00:24:23

well actually in the firing room. And so I've learned a lot

Unknown: 00:24:26

through that observation and training with him and being with

Unknown: 00:24:28

them and coaching with them and through them. And so

Unknown: 00:24:34

we have this ability to take our bodies

Unknown: 00:24:37

into amazingly deep places. And that intensity teaches us so

Unknown: 00:24:43

much about who we are my own personal experience, I've

Unknown: 00:24:46

learned that as well. And so, the paradox is that the more we

Unknown: 00:24:49

go into the intensity,

Unknown: 00:24:51

the shorter it actually is, the more we avoid it, the more it

Unknown: 00:24:55

prolongs it. And so, going into the pain and fear

Unknown: 00:25:00

do some things though, surround yourself in a safe environment,

Unknown: 00:25:03

being familiar, safe environment, nurture yourself,

Unknown: 00:25:06

be compassionate to yourself might be mindful of your self

Unknown: 00:25:08

talk, engage in some breath work, like even if the power of

Unknown: 00:25:11

pause is so important, like if you're feeling the pain and the

Unknown: 00:25:13

overwhelm coming through, take a few deep breaths, literally just

Unknown: 00:25:17

relax the nervous system, relax the physiology, go dancing, go

Unknown: 00:25:21

for a run, go for a walk, have a big glass of water, change your

Unknown: 00:25:24

state, it's so important to think that this is an avoidance,

Unknown: 00:25:26

this is mindful, I call a mindful avoidance, but it's not

Unknown: 00:25:30

avoidance because you actually you're attentive to the issue

Unknown: 00:25:33

and you're dealing with a deliberately you're not avoiding

Unknown: 00:25:35

it, pretending it doesn't exist. You you it's the healthy coping

Unknown: 00:25:38

mechanisms and strategies so that we can move through it. So

Unknown: 00:25:41

it's not so overwhelming. So getting the body physically,

Unknown: 00:25:45

whether it's dancing, whether it's going for a run, or a walk,

Unknown: 00:25:47

having a glass of water, having something to eat, feeling the

Unknown: 00:25:50

body and knowing that it's impermanent, in doing some

Unknown: 00:25:53

breath, work, just simple breath work, inhalation exhalation

Unknown: 00:25:56

through the nose, nothing, nothing fancy can even in our

Unknown: 00:26:00

necks out through your mouth, if you want, or just long, slow,

Unknown: 00:26:03

rhythmic, deep breathing to relax the body can completely

Unknown: 00:26:06

shift your perspective and how you look at it. I mean, if you

Unknown: 00:26:09

want to follow, I have a I have a cyclical process, a six step

Unknown: 00:26:13

cyclical process that I help people with. And there's some

Unknown: 00:26:15

other more advanced methods as well. But the sixth step is

Unknown: 00:26:17

really simple. And part of that is breathing. Part of that is

Unknown: 00:26:21

relaxing. Part of that is surrounding yourself with people

Unknown: 00:26:23

that support you that you trust, respect and reveal, it's so

Unknown: 00:26:26

important as well. And so these are things that we can do to

Unknown: 00:26:29

help us move and shift that pain, especially as men, men are

Unknown: 00:26:33

so reluctant to reach out, you've got to fucking reach out,

Unknown: 00:26:36

you've got to surround yourself with people that you care about

Unknown: 00:26:39

that care about, you need to put your ego aside. And you've got

Unknown: 00:26:42

to reach out and know that you're held basic human need and

Unknown: 00:26:45

premise to be known to be seen, to be heard, to be felt to be

Unknown: 00:26:48

heard, to beat to be understood.

Unknown: 00:26:51

And we want to reciprocate that. And when we don't give people

Unknown: 00:26:53

the opportunity to do that for us, we're actually doing them a

Unknown: 00:26:55

disservice. So with men, it's so imperative that we reach out.

Unknown: 00:27:00

That's a big part of it as well.

Unknown: 00:27:03

Thank you. If people want to come find out about the six step

Unknown: 00:27:08

process that you mentioned, or more about you more about the

Unknown: 00:27:10

work that you do and the different ways that they can get

Unknown: 00:27:12

involved. Where's the best place for them to come? Yes, my

Unknown: 00:27:15

YouTube channel. stiffs have found us but it will be

Unknown: 00:27:18

stiffened or suffer loss very soon. I'm changing on my handles

Unknown: 00:27:21

just I'm just going back to my phone. I'm actually finding

Unknown: 00:27:24

being here in America. I live here now in the US.

Unknown: 00:27:27

People struggle to pronounce my name Steph. But it's they find

Unknown: 00:27:31

it easy to pronounce. Stefanos, which is my full name anyway. So

Unknown: 00:27:34

I'm just going back to all that. So anyway, Stefan also found us

Unknown: 00:27:37

my YouTube channel, you'll find the six steps. cyclical process

Unknown: 00:27:40

there. I'm doing live video feed you scroll down, you'll see it I

Unknown: 00:27:42

think it was early this year, March this year, we'll find it

Unknown: 00:27:46

and we'll put it in the show notes. It's really easy for

Unknown: 00:27:48

people to click through to Yeah, cool. Yeah. Thank you. That's

Unknown: 00:27:51

awesome.

Unknown: 00:27:53

We will make sure that anything that we mentioned that is

Unknown: 00:27:56

referenceable will stick in so I'm so lucky someone Jasmine

Unknown: 00:28:00

will do it for me.

Unknown: 00:28:04

I'm willing Sharon, I'm an adult but with me.

Unknown: 00:28:10

Yeah.

Unknown: 00:28:16

No, no, like, I forgot about the question. So I will finish with

Unknown: 00:28:19

this. So I am an adult. But and however, I can definitely be a

Unknown: 00:28:28

brat. And I can definitely get into that victim. What about me?

Unknown: 00:28:34

It was a pattern where I grew up. And what about me? What

Unknown: 00:28:38

about me? What about me? I can play that victim all day long.

Unknown: 00:28:43

And when I get out of it, I look at myself and I go

Unknown: 00:28:48

that was a waste of time. And what I learned from it, so it

Unknown: 00:28:51

wasn't so much of a waste of time.

Unknown: 00:28:54

But I can be a suck sometimes. Thanks for that. It's, yeah, I

Unknown: 00:29:00

am an adult but and I'm an adult and a coach who talks about

Unknown: 00:29:05

like, Oh, are you in Malta all the time. But it takes London no

Unknown: 00:29:09

one so I'm an adult but I can be a massive martyr and like really

Unknown: 00:29:13

play kind of woe is me. And you're and like, you know, I'm

Unknown: 00:29:17

all love and light and let's find the lessons and all the

Unknown: 00:29:19

rest of it. But from time to time, there are no fucking

Unknown: 00:29:21

lessons and it's all out to get me.

Unknown: 00:29:25

Yeah.

Unknown: 00:29:31

Thank you so much for coming in talking to me. Thank you for

Unknown: 00:29:35

having me on your show. I'm deeply honoured and very

Unknown: 00:29:39

appreciative. This has been editing with ebony. I've been

Unknown: 00:29:44

Ebonie you've been great. Thank you so much for all of your

Unknown: 00:29:48

support. Please keep listening, liking, writing and sharing so

Unknown: 00:29:52

that more people can enjoy and engage with us. If you want even

Unknown: 00:29:57

more of me and more importantly, even more of you in your world.

Unknown: 00:30:02

Take the next step become a patron, a Maven Haven member.

Unknown: 00:30:06

Get your free human design chart or or your compass aka the value

Unknown: 00:30:11

filter to begin that your glow up. Go to www.ebonyallard.com Of

Unknown: 00:30:16

course each welcome more and I will see you next time.